The child, especially the teen wants or demands: FRIENDS, FUN, FREEDOM, FOOD!
The parent wants or demands: RESPECT and RESPONSIBILITY!
The clashing of those 2 agendas is sometimes volatile!
Baby steps. Notice any respect or responsibility from the child and PRAISE it. Shhh...don't tell them, but praising them increases the likelihood of that behavior happening again and subconsciously wills them to want to please you in other ways! And be conscious of allowing and making happen the friends, fun, freedom, and food.
Once I went to eat lunch with my daughter at her school and it was a Friday. It was something I was doing to show her I loved her. While at the school her friend asked her what she was doing over the weekend. She responded that she never had fun weekends (which wasn't really true, but ok) that her weekends always went like this: that her parents went on dates, got the errands done, made her do chores, then Sunday she went to church and just stayed home all-day. I got to thinking about it and realized I needed to be more cognizant of making sure she had some Fs in her weekend to motivate her so I could get my Rs!
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