Try different!

Many times in my parenting I have failed to get the desired result I was seeking. This is normal since kids have agency and can choose for themselves. Parents have choices too though. You then have your own choice as a parent, let go of your expectation or keep enforcing. If it's a rule worth making, then it's worth reinforcing. So, when I decide that it's not something I'm willing to lower my expectation on, then I have to look at what I am doing (or not doing) to solicit the behavior I want. I have gotten caught in a trap of trying harder at being consistent with positive or negative reinforcers. Or trying harder at checking up on homework/classwork, or trying harder at talking to my child about their choices, you name a parenting technique and I have gotten caught in a trap of trying harder in a situation where I have repeatedly had the same results! When this happens.... It's time to try different, instead of trying harder. Unfortunately sometimes that means inconveniencing the parent or sacrificing something you want for your child in order to give something they need. The "different" part depends on the kid and the situation and there are no easy answers, but if you think long and hard enough...options will come to mind.

This week I will have to feel those pains as I go a different route for a child....because trying harder hasn't worked.