Monday, April 27, 2009

My favorite parenting words

Regardless and Never-the-less (from CDAB) which actually are in some way similar to when your mother used to say, "because I said so". I like these better though and think they should replace the 'because I said so' words.

Parent: You can not have A, until you do B.
Kid: But why?, reason 1, and it's not fair because of reason 2
Parent: Regardless, you can not have A, until you do B

Works better because it takes the emphasis off of the parent. There's some sort of psychological factor there in the "because I said so" model. The child interprets it as 'mom is out to ruin me because she hates me, she's just saying that because she doesn't have a good reason.' The Regardless/Never-the-less plan shows the parent as calm and confident of her parenting and that the rule is important for the child, existing for the child's benefit and not the child existing for the rule.

1 comment:

Carolyn said...

This is excellent! I need to remember this. Unfortunately, I've had a habit of "because I'm the mom" and "because I said so" for way too long. I'll have to put these words all over my house so I remember to use them more!!!