Influence vs. Control

LS~ Children think and act as they do not because they are bad but because they are young.

We need to remember that we do not lose control of our children because we do not have control. We do not control our children. Many parents, myself included sometimes, make the mistake of trying to control their children. What is under our control? The environment we surround our kids with and things! By controlling these we can influence our children, but when things are especially emotional between parent and child we need to continually ask ourselves if our control of things or environment is because we feel a need to stick it to 'em because they were rotten and deserve it or if it is in their best interest and because we love them. More influence will come from daily expressions of love and giving positive strokes (catching them doing something right and recognizing it and letting them know you like that) than will come from any negative consequences (controlling things and the environment).

This is not coming from one who is perfect at it. Hardly. Rather from bona fide research of behavior and children of all backgrounds and situations, common sense, and even an understanding of God's ways.